Concrete Playground

We’re a perverse lot, us humans. Tread on a footpath turd or discover an unflushed log and we’ll emit high-pitched girly squeals. But we’ll quite happily fork out big bucks for delicacies growing out of steaming piles of poo. The faecal origins of truffles, or magic mushrooms, never seem to faze the filthy rich or filthy hippies. And so it is with Civet Coffee, made from the beans directly departed from a furry Indonesian critter’s shitter. Not only is it excrementally expensive at about $1000 a kilo, the painstaking process of sifting through piles of pellets (now there’s a job) means only about 200 kilos of coffee is produced a year. That’s roughly one whole Matt Preston. It’s no surprise then, that the Indonesians are upping the ante and are starting to enclose these little weasels to crap their way to serious riches.

But, like most things we cage, the quality’s just not quite as good. Rubbery eggs aside, does anyone remember Regurgitator in a bubble at Fed square? Experts say the coffee’s unique flavour comes from the civet’s wild feeding habits and fossicking on all manner of forest delights. Once cooped, it’s bland, tasteless poop. I’m sure anyone who’s tracked the correlation between their own feeding habits and the end result can relate.

If you want to try this defecated delight before the flavour is compromised, you can buy 250g online. Or, if you’re just after a taste, there’s a cafe outside of Townsville selling it for about $50 a cup, which may just distract you from the tedium of being in Townsville.  Or you can just hit up Kevin Rudd, who was given some last year by the Indonesian PM. Though as times get tougher for Kev, he may need to be flogging it himself.